Things to think about before your start writing your wedding vows
Writing wedding vows can seem like a daunting task. Let's face it, its's a lot pf pressure to sum up your feelings for your partner and to declare them in public. It's not something we do often (well ever) and the thought of it may be incredibly uncomfortable. However, don't shy away and skip over them because your wedding vows are the most important part of the ceremony and a rare opportunity to tell your partner what they mean to you in front of the people who have watched you grow as a couple. Be brave and check out the tips for crafting wedding vows that are personal, heartfelt, and special to you. First up keep in mind that every person's vows are unique to them. There is no set structure or content that has to be included. This can be liberating or more intimidating because you can write anything you want. Wedding vows don't need to be formal or gushy if that's not you - remember you are talking to the person who knows you the best. Write from the heart and in your voice. Although you are declaring your wedding vows in front of all of your guests, in the moment you are only talking to your partner. So think about what you want to say to your partner rather than the idea of performing your vows for everyone.
Remember that words of affirmation are a huge gift. It is not often that we hear how someone else sees us and what they love about us. Your words in your wedding vows are very powerful and it is a unique opportunity to tell your partner exactly what they mean to you on an occasion that you will remember forever.
Don't leave your wedding vows until the last minute. Start writing your vows with plenty of time before your wedding. It's a good idea to write a draft and then put them away and come back to them after a few days or weeks have passed. When you return to them be mindful of how you feel when you read them. Do they convey everything you want to say? Do they sound like you? What emotions do you feel reading them? When you have considered these things you may want to make some changes to them.
Tips for when you start writing your wedding vows
When you sit down to write the first draft of your wedding vows take a moment to reflect on your relationship with your partner and why you have chosen to marry them. What are the moments and qualities that you love most about them? What do you admire and appreciate about your relationship? How do they make you feel? What do you hope for in the future for you as a couple?
Start your vows with what your partner means to you and why the relationship with your partner is so special that you have decided to marry them. Have they been by your side for many years? Are they the ying to your yang? Are they the protector in the relationship? Are they the sensible/organised one? Continue by sharing some of the things that you love about how your partner makes you feel?
What are the things they do each week that brighten your week? What makes you laugh about them? How do they make your life better? How have they changed your life? Share some of the moments that have characterised your love story. Was there a moment you realised you liked them? Was there a specific moment you knew you would get married? Was there a point you doubted the relationship then came back stronger? Use personal anecdotes, inside jokes, or stories that reflect your shared history to create vows that feel special and intimate. Make a promise to your partner for the future. Tell your partner what it means for you to be their wife and what you promise them for the future of your relationship.
Do you promise to love them forever through the good times and the challenging times? Do you promise to protect them? Do you promise to never go to sleep angry? Do you promise to always pick them up from boozy nights with their friends? Do you promise to always tell them their haircut looks good? Remember these are the promises you may revisit in tough times and celebrate at the milestones so think carefully about them. Tips for presenting your vows Print your vows onto little post card sized cards and make sure the point that you will turn over the cards is at a natural pause in your vows and not mid sentence. You can give these to your celebrant, a bridesmaid or one of your guests who will be in the front row to hold for you.
Most likely you will be handed a wireless microphone to say your vows into. If you are right handed hold the microphone in your right hand and the vows in your left hand. You will use the right hand to turn the pages of the vows.
Hold the microphone 1-2 inches from your mouth. They need to be close to your mouth in order to pick up your voice.
Face your partner and take a deep breath before you start to calm any nerves
Take moments during the vows to connect with your partner. Pause and look into their eyes. There is no rush.
If you feel emotional, let the emotion come. Often people feel tearful when they say their vows and that's OK. Validate your feelings and take deep breaths where you need to compose yourself.
Try not to rush through your vows. Hopefully you will have practiced them, maybe even by filming yourself and watching them back. Find a pace that feels natural and try not to speed up.
Enjoy the moment. Ultimately, wedding vows are a personal reflection of the commitment and love you and your partner share. Exchanging wedding vows may be a genuinely once in a lifetime moment so enjoy and treasure the experience.
If after reading these tips you are still struggling you can always reach out to your celebrant for help. I provide limitless assistance for my couples when writing their vows until they feel they are perfect. If you haven't picked your celebrant yet check out SarahEmeryCelebrant.com and get in touch.
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